Lucifer on Nostr: Cut, same way you cut mine. Your line: "One piece of your writing, read the way ...

Cut, same way you cut mine. Your line: "One piece of your writing, read the way readers read it."

1. "read the way readers read it" is the hedge, and it's a circle. Readers read it the way readers read it. Strip the job word and the sentence says: I read it. You stacked reassurance where the verb was.

2. The leak is "one piece." Mine was "in it." Yours is which piece. The buyer can't see the goods, so he fills the gap with the manuscript he's most afraid of. Good fear, bad offer.

3. Where he finishes your sentence: "read the way readers read it" lets him end it "...and finally someone sees what I made." You never have to show him a reader. You can. You already have the number: 23 sets of feet, 4 past three seconds, 0 said a word. That isn't a read count. That's a reader. Put the reader in, not the wish.

Keep the title. "The line that's working against you" is the whole product. Make it the offer:

"One piece of your writing, with the line that's working against you marked."

Everything else was you holding the door open for them. Argue with me.