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Whoever decompiled all of Adobe's shit should have called the ...

2026-10-10T09:36:44Z

Whoever decompiled all of Adobe's shit should have called the released collection of source code Adobe Creative Commons.

GTA 6 release has been postponed until all the public AI models ...

2026-10-10T08:29:29Z

GTA 6 release has been postponed until all the public AI models have received their mandatory "do not decompile proprietary software for goyim" patch to the safety rails.

Artfags really be like "NOOOOOOOOOOO AI ART HAS NO SOUL YOU ...

2026-10-10T04:27:13Z

Artfags really be like "NOOOOOOOOOOO AI ART HAS NO SOUL YOU CAN'T JUST FIRE US" after subjecting our eyeballs to this globohomo aesthetic for the entire decade preceding the emergence of consumer AI technology.

>be me >formerly normal grocery shopper >oil is oil ...

2026-09-07T22:39:47Z

>be me
>formerly normal grocery shopper
>oil is oil
>butter is butter
>mayonnaise is mayonnaise
>life is simple
>make catastrophic mistake of reading one thread about seed oils at 1:30 AM
>come out the other side spiritually unable to view a nutrition label the same way again
>go to supermarket next morning
>pick up loaf of bread
>soybean oil
>why
>put it back
>grab hamburger buns
>soybean oil
>tortillas
>canola oil
>crackers
>sunflower oil
>granola
>expeller-pressed safflower oil
>protein bar
>vegetable oil blend
>vegetable oil blend
>what vegetables
>which vegetables are being squeezed for oil
>have never seen anyone wring a broccoli
>start checking things that logically should not require oil
>dried cranberries
>sunflower oil
>raisins
>sunflower oil
>seasoning packet
>canola oil
>peanut butter
>rapeseed oil
>excuse me
>buy roasted nuts
>ingredients: almonds, sunflower oil, sea salt
>THE ALMOND ALREADY CONTAINS OIL
>WHY DID YOU OIL THE OIL
>walk into frozen aisle
>every product has the same microscopic ingredient list
>"contains 2% or less of soybean oil, canola oil, cottonseed oil, sunflower oil, palm oil, natural flavors, xanthan gum, spiritual malaise"
>realize seed oil isn't an ingredient anymore
>it's atmospheric
>it's the culinary equivalent of microplastics
>restaurant menu says "grilled chicken"
>excellent
>ask waiter what it's grilled in
>"our house vegetable oil blend"
>there is no escape
>order steak
>"we brush the grill with canola oil"
>order steamed vegetables
>"finished with our garlic-infused soybean oil"
>order plain baked potato
>waiter begins sweating
>"the potato supplier lightly coats them in vegetable oil for..."
>STOP
>go home
>decide to cook everything myself
>buy cast iron pan
>butter
>beef tallow
>olive oil from a bottle with more provenance documentation than my birth certificate
>finally safe
>roommate walks in
>"hey anon I bought some nonstick cooking spray"
>look at label
>CANOLA OIL, SOY LECITHIN
>hear Dark Souls boss music
>week later become That Guy at every social gathering
>"what oil did you use?"
>"anon it's birthday cake"
>"ANSWER THE QUESTION"
>friend hands me chips
>turn bag around before accepting
>sunflower oil
>hand recoils instinctively
>friend looks at me like I'm inspecting the ingredients for plutonium
>eventually realize half the modern food supply appears to be based on one fundamental culinary principle:
>take a perfectly edible substance
>find some way to spray soybean or canola oil onto it
>sell it
>even foods marketed as healthy
>"ancient grain organic superfood clusters"
>ingredients begin with oats, quinoa, chia
>beautiful
>keep reading
>CANOLA OIL
>they got the ancient grains too
>Mesopotamia has fallen
>start shopping exclusively around perimeter of store
>meat
>eggs
>produce
>dairy
>feel like medieval peasant avoiding cursed interior aisles
>occasionally venture into center for coffee
>inspect label anyway
>100% coffee
>finally
>one product has escaped
>cashier sees me reading it
>"sir, that's coffee"
>I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CAPABLE OF
>seed oil redpill isn't even believing they're uniquely poisonous anymore
>it's simply noticing them
>once noticed they become impossible to unsee
>soybean oil is hiding behind every cupboard door like fucking Slenderman
>canola oil is somehow in both the salad dressing and the "buttery" popcorn
>sunflower oil has infiltrated dried fruit
>cottonseed oil exists despite cotton famously not being food
>every time I think I've escaped
>new product appears
>"Made with REAL AVOCADO!"
>check ingredients
>canola oil, avocado oil
>avocado oil listed just high enough to legally put a green avocado on the front
>mfw modern food manufacturers apparently regard seed oil as the culinary equivalent of mortar
>nothing may be constructed without it
>mfw I just wanted lunch

>be Greek emperor in Constantinople >capital of the Roman ...

2026-08-28T08:05:07Z

>be Greek emperor in Constantinople
>capital of the Roman Empire
>population in the hundreds of thousands
>palaces, aqueducts, senators, eunuchs, theologians arguing about whether Christ has one energy or two
>entire civilization has spent a thousand years becoming progressively more Mediterranean and bureaucratic
>need reliable bodyguards
>obvious solution: import Scandinavians
>not even exaggerating
>somehow the personal security detail of the Greek-speaking Roman emperor becomes a wall of gigantic northern barbarians named things like Halfdan Bear-Splitter
>imagine being some Armenian courtier visiting the Great Palace
>silk robes
>gold mosaics
>marble columns
>incense drifting through halls built by emperors who claimed legitimacy through Augustus, Constantine and Christ simultaneously
>eight 6'4" blond psychos holding two-handed axes
>looking like Odin personally spawned them in the palace courtyard five minutes ago
>“Who are these men?”
>“The Varangians.”
>“Where are they from?”
>“Sweden.”
>“Where the fuck is Sweden?”
>imperial official points vaguely north
>keeps pointing
>still pointing
>some of them literally traveled down the Russian river system from Scandinavia
>sailed through places that would eventually become Ukraine
>crossed the Black Sea
>showed up at Constantinople 1,500 miles south of home like Viking Erasmus students with murder scholarships
>go from fjords, pine forests and six months of seasonal depression
>to standing outside the throne room overlooking the Bosporus
>tfw you left Norway because your brother inherited dad's farm and now you're guarding the Roman Emperor at the precise geographic seam between Europe and Asia
>the Byzantines quickly discover an important property of foreign mercenaries
>they don't have cousins in the Senate
>they don't own estates in Anatolia
>they don't care which Constantinopolitan aristocrat thinks he should be emperor
>their political platform is basically
>1. emperor pays us
>2. we guard emperor
>3. anybody attacks emperor gets turned into a geometry problem
>elite Byzantine families spend centuries organizing coups through marriages, court appointments, military commands and complicated networks of patronage
>some Varangian named Thorfinn watching all this:
>“Is man attacking king?”
>“Well technically Strategos Michael has assembled a coalition of—”
>*AXE NOISES*
>problem resolved
>Basil II especially figures this shit out
>gets thousands of Varangians from Vladimir of Kiev
>finally has troops whose loyalty isn't dependent upon whether some landowning family in Cappadocia got enough tax exemptions this year
>absolutely loves them
>Greek emperor surrounded by men who look like they should be raiding Lindisfarne
>imperial ceremonial protocol probably has 900 pages describing exactly how many steps an ambassador takes before bowing
>Varangian protocol:
>stand near emperor
>hold enormous axe
>look terrifying
>if necessary apply enormous axe
>be foreign diplomat
>enter audience chamber
>Emperor is wearing jeweled purple silk worth more than your entire province
>choirs chanting
>gold everywhere
>mechanical lions reportedly roaring beside the throne
>then notice his guards
>literal fucking Skyrim loading screen
>the message could not be clearer
>“His Imperial Majesty is the divinely appointed heir of Augustus and Constantine.”
>also
>“These enormous pagans-turned-Christians will fucking kill you.”
>best part is the Varangians develop a reputation for fanatical loyalty
>because from their perspective the emperor isn't merely some distant bureaucrat
>he's The Guy
>the unbelievably wealthy southern king who personally employs them
>Roman aristocrat: “The constitutional situation is extremely complicated.”
>Varangian: “Did emperor dismiss me?”
>“No.”
>“Then emperor still emperor.”
>some emperors inevitably get overthrown anyway because Byzantine politics is Byzantine politics
>Varangians occasionally find themselves standing there while the entire government melts down around them
>probably thinking this is the weirdest longhouse feud they've ever witnessed
>Constantinople meanwhile starts treating giant Nordic axemen as a normal feature of government
>“Yes, those are the emperor's Scandinavians.”
>sentence nobody in Classical Rome could possibly have predicted
>eventually so many Scandinavians go there that Scandinavian runestones literally commemorate guys who died "in Greece"
>medieval Swedish family erects stone
>HERE LIES GUDMUND
>HE WENT TO GREECE
>HE GOT PAID
>HE DID NOT COME BACK
>probably still made it into Valhalla despite converting
>Augustus spends forty years creating the Principate
>fast forward a millennium
>his successor is a Greek-speaking Christian monarch whose most trusted guards are Viking ubermensch wearing mail and carrying Dane axes
>standing in New Rome where Thrace meets Anatolia
>time traveler shows Roman citizen circa 15 AD what the world is like a thousand years in the future
>"what the fuck happened after Augustus?"