Nostr notes by nerd2ninja; ©️📺

Hah I like where your instincts are at. You definitely got the ...

2025-10-15T11:10:20Z

In reply to nevent1q…6eas
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Hah I like where your instincts are at. You definitely got the "corporate capture bad" bad part down.

GPLv3 licensed software has a long history though. It keeps vender lock in from being possible and has its roots in hobby developers who would call themselves hackers in their day. That's why in the video all they can talk about is software support.

You get all the freedom without paying any money in this case specifically.

It sounds like you misunderstood the message

2025-10-15T01:26:08Z

In reply to nevent1q…nyds
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It sounds like you misunderstood the message

#note1z5x…8gar

2025-10-14T09:19:21Z

quoting note1z5x…8gar
Gitplaza v0.14.0 is out.
Edit your repo events and show repo topics + maintainers in repo view.

Full release notes: https://codeberg.org/dluvian/gitplaza/releases/tag/v0.14.0

#gitplaza #releastr #gitvianostr

"The computer can be used as a tool to liberate and protect ...

2025-10-14T02:42:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…ze3n
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"The computer can be used as a tool to liberate and protect people, rather than to control them." - Hal Finney

But the reason computers control people instead of free them, is corporate capture.

Windows has investors to answer to

But Linux offers freedom only

X, Facebook, Instagram etc etc all have ad space for sale and users to manipulate for profitability

But nostr just relays the note and signal or a similar messager just let's you message the person.

Money is already online. Visa and Mastercard drive up prices by squeezing merchants and often deny services to NSFW content creators just as an example.

But Bitcoin just does what the user says to do.

The computer can be used as a tool to liberate and protect people, rather than to control them. You just have to choose it.

Where did you find this unhinged post XD

2025-10-13T20:51:30Z

In reply to nevent1q…m7up
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Where did you find this unhinged post XD

Do you think there's a world where we could query an API for ...

2025-10-13T19:33:24Z

Do you think there's a world where we could query an API for raw GPU compute for a model ran locally something like that?

I think it's not possible without trust assumptions, but all cloud has a baseline trust assumption so that's just how that is.

#asknostr MapleAI (npub10hp…dxkr)

I highly recommend all nostr developers across all applications ...

2025-10-13T16:36:13Z

I highly recommend all nostr developers across all applications to read about graperank.

Especially those looking into web of trust applications

quoting naddr1qq…46m3

At the time of this writing, over 45 million nostr pubkeys are known to have been created. But how many of those pubkeys can we say with some degree of confidence are probably what most of us would consider "real" users? Not bots, not scammers, not impersonators, not mass produced by some script? Of the tens of millions of known pubkeys, probably no more than a few hundred thousand max should be considered real users, based on a cursory overview [1] of the follows network.

There are many applications of web of trust, but the first and foremost application is to find a suitable method to identify the pubkeys that are likely to be real users, while weeding out the obviously bad actors -- impersonators, malware, spam, etc. Outside the world of nostr, one of the most famous such metrics is PageRank, which was introduced by Google in 1998 to weed out spam from website keyword search. Although the global version of PageRank is what we tend to find in the fiat world, the version most compatible with the ethos of nostr is personalized PageRank. The most natural way to implement personalized PageRank in nostr is to use the kind 3 follow list.

Using follows, PageRank can be quite effective at identifying pubkeys that are probably not bad actors, even the ones that are more than just one or two hops away. However, PageRank suffers from several well known methods of attack, most notably the link farm. The basic idea of a link farm is that a bad actor spins up a large number of nodes (URLs in the case of web search, pubkeys in the case of nostr) that all link to each other, boosting each other's scores. This attack is particularly worrisome in nostr, given the relatively low cost to create bots and issue kind 3 events. All it takes is a small handful of pubkeys to entice a small number of real users to follow them -- not hard to do using AI -- and we are left with a swarm of high-scoring pubkeys that the bad actor is free to use for impersonation or some other nefarious purpose.

Although some methods exist to mitigate the link farm attack, none are fully satisfactory. Once utilization of centrality algorithms like PageRank becomes widespread in the nostr ecosystem, we can expect link attacks to intensify dramatically.

PageRank has several other problems in addition to the link farm attack. A second problem with PageRank is that it yields a single score, sometimes referred to as the "importance" score, and there is no immediately obvious way to create different scores that have meanings and can be used for different applications. And a third problem of PageRank is that it is well suited for sorting, but not well suitable to be used as the weight for weighted averages or weighted sums.

The first and most obvious way to improve PageRank would be to incorporate additional data beyond just follows, such as kind 10000 mutes and kind 1984 reports, that can be used to weed out whatever bad actors become problematic. The cost of identifying and tagging a bad actor that has gained traction is arguably less than the cost of spinning up the attack in the first place. So if we can incorporate these and other forms of flagging, we will have a highly effective mitigation scheme.

Unfortunately, there is no immediately obvious way to incorporate mutes, reports, or other arbitrary sources of data into the PageRank algorithm. When you sit down and try to work out the details of some method, it turns out to be more complicated than one might expect.

But the problem is not intractable. If you think about it long enough, if you try to modify PageRank to design a centrality algorithm to address its shortcomings and to implement a certain set of desired characteristics, you'll eventually hit upon something more or less like GrapeRank. These desired characteristics include the following:

There needs to be a generalizable, clearly defined protocol to incorporate any source of data, not just follows, mutes and reports. For GrapeRank, that method is called intepretation [2].

There needs to be a clearly defined protocol to design different metrics with different meanings. One metric to identify health care workers, another metric to rate skill level in some particular activity, etc.

The GrapeRank algorithm was designed specifically with these considerations in mind. Although GrapeRank is designed to produce a variety of metrics, the prototype Brainstorm instance produces only one metric for each pubkey, the goal of which is verification: pubkeys that are probably "real" users, probably not bots or bad actors. This metric, the baseline GrapeRank score, is a number between 0 and 1, with a score of 1 meaning verified, a score of 0 meaning not verified, and a score between 0 and 1 indicating a pubkey that is probably not a bad actor, but there is insufficient data to say that with confidence. Indeed, the best way to interpret the baseline GrapeRank score is to multiply it by 100 and think of it as the degree of confidence with which your community says to you that this pubkey is probably not a bot or bad actor.

Here we will review the basic principles of GrapeRank which we will assume to be personalized to Alice's pubkey:

The default score of all pubkeys (except Alice's) is zero.

Alice's pubkey has a fixed score of 1. (She knows with 100% certainty she is not a bot.)

The only way to boost a score is to be followed by someone whose score is nonzero.

The amount of the boost is directly proportional to the GrapeRank score of the follower.

Mutes and reports decrease a score, with the amount of the decrease being proportional to the GrapeRank score of the muter or reporter.

A single mute has more effect on the score than a follow, and a report has more effect on the score than a mute. It therefore takes only a small handful of reports authored by trusted users to counteract a large number of follows.

Under the hood, the GrapeRank algorithm tracks not just one number for each pubkey, but several numbers, one of which is the degree of confidence that your trust network has in the assessment of that pubkey, with more information yielding a higher confidence in the assessment. For more details of the math behind the algorithm, see this article [3].

Consider what happens when an established nsec is compromised or a bad actor manages to achieve a high score, either PageRank or GrapeRank. What is the remedy? For PageRank, the remedy requires all (or most) verified users following the pubkey in question to unfollow -- something that is simply unlikely to happen in most cases. For GrapeRank, the remedy requires only a small handful of trusted pubkeys to identify and flag the bad actor, a remedy that is quite feasible in most cases.

This prototype of a Brainstorm instance shows that empirically, GrapeRank is quite effective at sorting the wheat from the chaff for a basic application such as profile keyword search. Impersonator accounts that use the link farm approach to fool PageRank are more effectively screened out by GrapeRank. (Please forgive the slow performance of this particular keyword search implementation - work in progress.)

Through the process of interpretation [2], additional sources of data (zaps, content interaction scores, badges, etc) will in the future be utilized to create more varied GrapeRank metrics with different meanings and for different applications. For now, work is focused on building more performant Brainstorm instances and on methods of delivery of personalized trust metrics throughout nostr, such as NIP-85: Trusted Assertions.

Notes

[1] This prototype of a Brainstorm instance shows that the set of all known pubkeys that I follow, plus the ones they follow, plus the ones they follow, ad infinitum until there are no more known pubkeys to add, yields less than 300 thousand pubkeys, with the highest degree of separation by follows being 10 hops away.

[2]

naddr1qv…txqa

[3]

naddr1qv…7hzn

How to zap your note with gold flakes?

2025-10-13T08:22:35Z

In reply to nevent1q…a50j
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How to zap your note with gold flakes?

An investors nightmare, and private business owner's dream XD

2025-10-12T01:29:25Z

In reply to nevent1q…zq6p
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An investors nightmare, and private business owner's dream XD

People don't talk to each other anymore. They just send the ...

2025-10-10T21:14:35Z

In reply to nevent1q…nt82
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People don't talk to each other anymore. They just send the upset party to their personal HR AI to deal with it smh (I'm joking)

#nevent1q…pfk2

2025-10-09T23:49:06Z

In reply to nevent1q…pe6p
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quoting nevent1q…pfk2
I'm tired of buying products and services that clearly show how little I mean to the seller. Fortunately, I've been able to replace most of the garbage with better stuff over the past several years.

SoapMiner (nprofile…d5tl) is one great example. You can tell that the consumer is important because the product is squared away. Good ingredients, packaging, construction, etc. It arrives and all I have to do is wash away the dirty aspects of my own work. The product helps me focus on providing value instead of fixing another broken product.

BenJustman (nprofile…66av) and his wine is another. When I need wine, I order his. Why? I don't get headaches. I don't feel like garbage when I drink it. It tastes wonderful. The packaging is beautiful. He doesn't cut corners. He cares about the product, and therefore the consumer.

I haven't needed a new wallet yet, but when I do, Leathermint (nprofile…2s0f) is on the radar for that. I'm seeing the same good traits in that builder.

Alternatives to legacy social media built on #Nostr helped me find these people, making it clear that there's room for a completely parallel world to the fiat system.

I don't remember where I was going with this (typical 😂), so thanks to the producers giving me good products. I'm sure there are many others on Nostr that I'm unaware of or haven't purchased from yet.

Nostr event nevent1qqsr8pjzd5mfps7ky0x8edpj4hlychkkl90p9wvrc8zuyu47lsy0y3czyzp5cz6nezenuzk4plz9yns37pgx43j0a547wc57d9gje8fd5apkjsn7unm

2025-10-09T09:22:53Z

#animestr #frieren #programming #c++

Business is BOOMING

2025-10-08T19:51:02Z

In reply to nevent1q…ypu7
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Business is BOOMING

Okie! #note12er…vx52

2025-10-07T14:02:55Z

Okie!

quoting note12er…vx52
just keep going anon

I don't perfectly remember how I even found this, but here, ...

2025-10-04T01:52:34Z

In reply to nevent1q…lztc
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I don't perfectly remember how I even found this, but here, this was in my tabs that I never close on my computer

https://gitworkshop.dev/about

Signal killer? #naddr1qq…d692

2025-10-03T01:24:52Z

Signal killer?

quoting naddr1qq…d692

I'm excited to announce the launch of Marmot, a new protocol for secure, decentralized group messaging, along with MDK (Marmot Development Kit), a reference implementation designed to make building with Marmot straightforward and reliable.

What is Marmot?

Marmot combines proven cryptographic standards with Nostr's decentralized network to deliver truly private messaging without centralized servers or requiring your phone number or email. It protects both your message content and metadata—meaning it hides who you're talking to, not just what you're saying.

Marmot has the security of Signal with the censorship-resistance and data portability of Nostr.

Key features:

End-to-end encryption: Messaging Layer Security (MLS) based end-to-end encryption with forward secrecy & post-compromise security

Upgradable cryptography: Evolve your groups security without breaking existing conversations

Metadata protection: No one can see your social graph or who you communicate with

Decentralized, commodity infrastructure: No central servers to target, easily change your group's relays whenever you want

Scalable group messaging: Works for small teams or large communities

Identity freedom: No phone numbers or email addresses required

From NIP-EE to Marmot

Marmot is an evolution of NIP-EE. As we've built White Noise, our secure messaging app, we realized the specification needed room to grow beyond what a single NIP could accommodate.

Why expand beyond a NIP?

While basic messaging functionality is fairly compact, we wanted to accommodate all the things that we've come to expect from our secure messaging apps. These include encrypted media, delivery receipts, multi-device support, encrypted backups, and advanced group management. These don't fit neatly into a single specification. By creating a dedicated protocol, we can:

Add new specifications over time for different features

Make it clear what's required versus optional for implementation interoperability

Provide comprehensive documentation that makes building fully-featured secure messaging straightforward

Introducing MDK: Marmot Development Kit

Alongside Marmot, we're also launching MDK, the reference implementation of Marmot written in Rust, as its own standalone project.

Why a separate library?

MDK began in rust-nostr, which was an excellent starting point. However, as we expanded functionality and refined the implementation, it became clear the project deserved its own identity. Following the model of other well-known rust development kits in the Bitcoin, Lightning, and Cashu ecosystems (BDK, LDK, CDK), we envision MDK as a carefully crafted library that will eventually include:

Language bindings for Swift, Kotlin, Python, and more

Comprehensive documentation and examples

Formal security audits

Battle-tested implementations used across multiple applications

MDK handles the complex cryptographic operations and protocol logic so developers can focus on building great user experiences.

We've also started work on a TypeScript implementation of Marmot, marmot-ts. This is still in early development, but we're excited to share it with the community.

Get Started

Protocol specification: github.com/parres-hq/marmot

MDK: github.com/parres-hq/mdk

marmot-ts: github.com/parres-hq/marmot-ts

White Noise: whitenoise.chat

Join the Community

We welcome contributions, feedback, and security analysis. Whether you're interested in building clients, improving specifications, or helping test across different implementations, there's a place for you in the Marmot ecosystem.

The future of private communication is decentralized. Onward and upward!

Advice I think I'll take #naddr1qq…n98n

2025-10-03T01:19:11Z

Advice I think I'll take

quoting naddr1qq…n98n

When you're looking to make something for other people, you'll often be told to "make something you want." It's great advice because you probably know what you want better than you know what other people want, and people probably want what you want. It's also great advice because it's permissive. It encourages you to make something, anything, no matter how frivolous (so long as you want it) which is how many great things start. However, it assumes that you know what you want when you might not. Worse, you might trick yourself into believing that you know what you want when you don't. When someone says "make something you want," I recommend translating it to: make something that you'd use even if someone else made a poor version of it.

When you don't know what you want, you can fool yourself into believing that you want anything you can create. The self-talk of this sounds like "I want to create this thing because I'm curious about what I'll learn while making it so I must also want to consume this thing." Another way this appears is "I want this thing but only if it's done right and I'm the only one who can do it right." These thoughts can overlap with making something you want, but they show up when you're making something you don't want too. If the goal is to make something other people want, satisfying your own curiosity or making your personal version of something does not always coincide with what other people want.

When making something you want focus less on the making aspect and more on the wanting aspect. We're told what to want by other people all the time. We're told to not want more than what we have. We learn to self-soothe by suppressing our greatest, most unmet desires. It's upsetting to want things that don't exist and might never exist. But you need to let yourself want. The less convenient the want, the less confirming, the better. Armed with knowing what you want, you alone can determine what's worth making that other people might want. Armed with knowing what you want, "make something you want" becomes foolproof advice. Make something that you'd use even if someone else made a poor version of it.

https://stacker.news/items/1244647

Repost #naddr1qq…w352

2025-10-01T15:25:08Z

Repost

quoting naddr1qq…w352

What’s the best way to help your child learn to behave? What if your child has difficulty with impulse control, grabbing, yelling, or acting without thinking? What happens when punishment is the primary tool parents use? Does punishment teach impulse control, or does it interfere with it? And most importantly, what practices support healthy brain development and long-term self-regulation?

Parents today struggle with how to help their children develop impulse control. This article is going to address that struggle. It will explain what happens when punishment is used to teach impulse control, and what the science suggests about more effective ways to support children’s growth.

Children Are Born With Low Impulse Control

Children are born with very little impulse control. This isn’t because they’re “bad,” but because their brains are still developing. The parts of the brain that manage self-regulation, like the prefrontal cortex, take years to fully mature. No parenting technique can make a child’s brain grow faster. What parents can do is either create conditions that support healthy development or, unintentionally, slow that development down. Parenting techniques can either inhibit growth or help train the mind as it develops to reach its full potential.

Different Rates of Development

Different children develop impulse control at different rates. Genetics are the primary determinant of how fast the brain develops, and how much impulse control eventually develops into adulthood. However, the environment determines if they are able to reach that genetic potential or not. As parents, we cannot change the genetic potential of our children, but we can avoid getting in the way of the natural development of impulse control and instead foster it so that it develops according to the highest potential of the child.

Success Despite Limitations

Even though some people cannot develop as much impulse control as others, they can still have successful lives if they set up systems to aid them in impulse control and use structures to support it. So even if your child is suffering now from impulse control issues, it doesn’t mean they will as an adult. And even if as an adult you struggle with impulse control, it doesn’t mean that you cannot demonstrate it, it just means you must set up structures in your life to make it easier. Very often, you can get some idea of where your children will end up by looking at the average impulse control between you and your spouse. One of the best ways to teach children impulse control is to demonstrate it through the way you live your own life.

A Healthy Developmental Timeline

Different people are going to be faster or slower in their development. Sometimes children are very slow at first, then catch up later and excel past their peers. Others develop quickly when they are young but fall behind during adolescence. It is not about predicting the future, it is about taking each stage on its own merits and working on the next step. Parents benefit from understanding the phases of impulse control development so that they neither expect unrealistic things from their children nor allow them to lag too far behind.

In a typical Caucasian male, brain development toward full impulse control continues until about age 25–27. Here is a healthy developmental timeline:

Ages 0–2: Early self-regulation begins. Control over basic bodily functions (like sleep-wake cycles and toilet training). Impulse control is minimal.

Ages 3–5: Beginning of simple inhibitory control. Learning to wait short periods, take turns, and follow basic instructions. Emotional outbursts are still common.

Ages 6–9: Growing ability to delay gratification. Can follow multi-step directions, control some emotional reactions, and begin problem-solving with guidance.

Ages 10–12: More consistent self-control. Better able to think before acting, plan ahead, and regulate emotions, though supervision is still needed.

Ages 13–15: Rapid brain changes. Impulse control fluctuates due to puberty. Teens test limits, often showing strong emotions with inconsistent regulation.

Ages 16–18: Increased planning ability. Improved long-term goal orientation, though still prone to risk-taking under peer pressure.

Ages 19–22: Continued strengthening of executive functions. Better judgment, more reliable impulse control, and greater independence.

Ages 23–27: Prefrontal cortex reaches maturity. Full adult capacity for impulse control, planning, and decision-making is typically present.

This timeline is only an average of healthy development, not a guarantee. Each child’s journey is unique, but knowing these stages helps parents provide realistic expectations and the right support at each age.

It is also important to point out that this process does not end at 18. Your children do not stop needing you when they reach legal adulthood. They continue to benefit from the availability of parental guidance and advice until they are close to 30 years old. As parents, we must recognize that our role is not just to raise children through early childhood and adolescence, but also to support young adults as they navigate dating, marriage, starting careers, and further education. Our job as parents is to raise them until they are fully prepared to raise their own children, however long that takes.

The Thesis: Punishment and Impulse Control

Before moving forward, we need to highlight the central idea of this article, the thesis that guides the following sections. This thesis is not just based on social studies, which many readers are rightly skeptical of due to the replication crisis and the ideological capture of some institutions. Instead, it rests on direct cause-and-effect cycles observable in neurobiology, hormone science, and history. The argument is grounded in how stress hormones like cortisol shape brain development, and in how cultures across history have thrived or collapsed depending on how they treated children.

Most parents cannot see these cause-and-effect cycles clearly because they have too few children to observe generational patterns. In my case, I, Noah LaVoie, the author, have the benefit of perspective: my family kept records for 450 years on child-rearing practices. One conclusion that emerges from those records is that parents must not harm their children in any way. The absence of harm is as important, if not more important, than the presence of love, boundaries, and guidance. This was in stark contrast to neighbors who often treated children brutally, and the long-term effects of those different approaches were documented.

We know this works, and we know it is sustainable. History shows that societies that treat children better, often a result of treating women better, tend to thrive. For example, Athens was one of the first places where the concept of childhood existed. Because it raised children comparatively peacefully, Athens produced literature, art, philosophy, science, and beauty. Sparta, in contrast, raised its children brutally, and while it produced warriors, it left behind little in the way of art, music, or philosophy. In fact, all our records of Sparta come second-hand, written by others, and throughout most of its history it was militarily weak. The brutal treatment of children cultivated violence, but it did not produce flexible, adaptive adults.

We can see similar patterns in later history. For instance, during the Victorian era, conditions for children shifted from grim exploitation toward improvement, and within a generation or two this corresponded with a flourishing of literature, science, technology, and industry. When children are treated better, societies expand their creative and adaptive capacities.

This thesis stands at the heart of the argument we are making, and everything that follows will explain what it means, why it matters, and how it plays out in real life.

Thesis Statement

Harsh or chronic punishment may impair the development of impulse control in children, potentially through stress‑hormone pathways (e.g. cortisol), especially in vulnerable children or in the context of inadequate emotional support. Over time, such punishment can lead to worse executive functioning outcomes. But this is probabilistic, moderated by child temperament, punishment type, frequency, and caregiver responsiveness.

What does “harsh or chronic” mean?

Harsh punishment refers to discipline that involves physical force (like spanking, slapping, hitting), severe verbal attacks (yelling, shaming, threats), or extreme withdrawal of privileges. It is often unpredictable and disproportionate to the child’s behavior.

Chronic punishment means frequent or sustained use of punishment as the primary method of discipline, creating a persistent environment of fear or stress rather than isolated corrective events.

What is impulse control?

Impulse control is the ability to stop oneself from acting on immediate urges, especially when those urges could cause harm or interfere with long-term goals. For example, a child waiting their turn, resisting the urge to grab a toy, or pausing to think before shouting in anger. It is a core part of self-regulation and develops gradually as the brain matures.

Cortisol and the brain

Cortisol is the body’s main stress hormone, released in response to fear or threat. Short bursts of cortisol are normal and sometimes helpful. But when children are exposed to repeated stress, cortisol can stay elevated for too long. Chronic high cortisol can interfere with the development of the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s decision-making and self-control center) and the hippocampus (involved in memory and learning). This can slow down the growth of impulse control.

Who are “vulnerable children”?

Vulnerable children are those who, due to genetics, temperament, early life experiences, or existing conditions, are more sensitive to stress. They may react more strongly to punishment and have a harder time recovering from stress, making them more at risk for harm from harsh or chronic discipline.

Inadequate emotional support

Emotional support refers to the warmth, comfort, and reassurance a caregiver provides. When children are punished harshly but also receive little comfort, encouragement, or positive attention, the stress becomes “toxic.” Without that buffer, punishment is more likely to impair development.

What are “executive functioning outcomes”?

Executive functions are a set of mental skills including working memory (holding information in mind), inhibitory control (stopping impulses), and cognitive flexibility (shifting attention). These skills are essential for planning, problem-solving, and adapting to changing situations. Negative executive functioning outcomes mean a child may struggle more with focus, emotional regulation, planning, and learning.

What does “probabilistic” mean?

Probabilistic means the effect is not guaranteed for every child but increases the likelihood of harm. Some children may show clear negative outcomes, while others may be less affected. It’s about risk, not certainty.

Moderated by child temperament

Temperament is a child’s natural style of emotional and behavioral response. For example:

Highly reactive children (quick to cry, anger, or fear) may be more harmed by harsh punishment.

Resilient or easygoing children may show fewer negative effects.

Children with higher baseline self-control may withstand occasional punishment better than those who already struggle with regulation.

Types of punishment

Mild forms: brief time-outs, loss of privileges, calm correction. Less likely to cause long-term harm when paired with warmth.

Harsh forms: spanking, yelling, humiliation. More likely to increase stress and slow impulse-control development.

Frequency of punishment

Occasional punishment, when combined with warmth and clear explanation, is less damaging. But frequent punishment (daily or near-daily use, especially of harsh methods) raises stress levels, increasing the risk of developmental harm.

Caregiver responsiveness

Caregiver responsiveness means how attuned the adult is to the child’s needs. A responsive caregiver notices when a child is stressed, offers comfort, explains rules, and provides positive feedback. Responsive caregiving can buffer the stress of discipline, while unresponsive caregiving leaves the child alone in their stress, amplifying harm.

Plain English Summary

Children are born with little impulse control, and their brains take decades to fully mature. Genetics set the pace and limits of this development, but the environment determines whether they reach their full potential. Harsh or frequent punishment can flood children with stress hormones like cortisol, slowing the growth of the brain areas responsible for self-control. This doesn’t mean every child will be harmed the same way, some are more vulnerable than others, but it raises the risk. Children need parents who guide them with warmth, clear boundaries, and consistency rather than fear. Put simply: punishment may look like it works in the moment, but it often slows down the very skills kids need to develop for lifelong success.

Next, we will explore healthier alternatives that foster impulse control without undermining brain development.

The Alternative: Radical Responsibility in Parenting

The healthier path forward is modeled on the idea of the Meta-Father (or Meta-Mother). This means taking radical, full responsibility for parenting, not leaving it to chance, not blaming circumstances, but owning the creation of the environment in which children grow. It includes:

Start with self-reflection: When children act up, the first question is not, “What did my child do wrong and how do I stop them?” but rather, “What mistake did I make as a parent in failing to create the right environment and communicate clearly enough to make it as easy as possible for them to behave?” It is not always the parent’s fault, but the parent should always start with this reflection.

Assume virtue first: Always approach your child as good, virtuous, and trying to do their best, even when they fail. If you frame your child as bad and in need of constant correction, you risk programming them to meet your negative expectations. Positive expectations encourage them to live up to the good you see in them.

Distinguishing immaturity from pathology: Parents must learn to tell the difference between normal childhood behavior that comes from immaturity and severe moral failings or psychological illness. Most bad behavior in children is simply them trying their best and failing, not deep corruption. Truly incorrigible or seriously disordered children are rare.

Family narrative and privilege: The story you tell your child about your family matters. Children should feel it is a privilege to belong to your family. Modern culture sometimes frames privilege negatively, but parents must intentionally create the most privileged possible environment for their children, one filled with safety, love, and opportunity. Then help them cultivate gratitude for that privilege, along with the recognition that it is their responsibility to participate in maintaining and building upon what you have created.

Spiritual development: It is the parent’s, especially the father’s, responsibility to guide the spiritual development of his children. This cannot be outsourced to a church, a school, or anyone else. Spiritual parenting is more than attending services or teaching theology. It is about training children to manage their spirit, to orient themselves toward what is good, beautiful, divine, and worthy of their attention.

Curiosity and gratitude for your child: Your child is not a pet, a plant, a project, or a hobby, they are a unique human being who relies completely on you. Parenting begins with remembering your privilege as a parent and cultivating gratitude for it. Tell your children often that you love them and that you feel privileged to be their parent. Show curiosity about their personalities, behaviors, and responses so you can tailor your parenting to their needs.

Curiosity and creativity in parenting: Parenting is an act of creation. You physically created another human being, but the creativity does not stop there. You must create opportunities, environment, connection, and narrative for your child. You are tasked with creating an entire life for this young person, until they are ready to take over and build upon what you started.

Do not delegate core parenting: The most important aspects of parenting should never be outsourced. They must be carried out by the mother and father, or by a grandmother, grandfather, or very close relative aligned with the parents. These responsibilities should not be handed over to strangers, government institutions, schools, or organizations. Children learn best from those who love them, not from those who see them as tools for power or self-aggrandizement.

Best interests over convenience: Parenting must always prioritize the best interests of the child, not the convenience of the parents. This requires patience and sacrifice, especially when children are young and demand high attention. Doing what is best for them, even when it is hard, is an act of agape love.

Creating the environment: Building a home where love, safety, and order guide the child’s growth.

Setting boundaries through clear communication: Children understand limits best when they are explained calmly, consistently, and firmly.

Reasonable expectations: Matching demands to a child’s age and maturity level, so that expectations stretch them without overwhelming them.

Unlimited patience: Meeting immaturity with guidance instead of frustration, recognizing that many behaviors are due to developmental limits, not willful disobedience.

Principle-fueled, agape love: Parenting out of unconditional love, rooted not only in affection for the child now but in reverence for the man or woman they will one day become.

Thinking in generations: Raising children with an eye toward grandchildren. What we pass to our children will shape how they raise theirs.

Sovereign mentality: Raising children to become internally regulated, self-governing individuals who are not swayed by every external authority, but who develop judgment to guide their own decisions.

Easier Said Than Done

Most parents either parent the way they were parented, or they react in complete revolt and do the opposite. There is no guarantee that either strategy, copying your parents or rejecting them, will be successful. Adding to the challenge, many parents do not fully understand why their parents did what they did. They just know what happened, not the reasoning behind it, making it difficult to implement any parental system with wisdom.

Beyond that, today’s parents face an overwhelming flood of advice, good and bad, often contradictory. Most of it simply tells you what to do but does not explain why or how. Few pieces of advice are grounded in principles, logic, or reasoning. Much of it amounts to traditional commands passed down uncritically. This appeals to those with low openness who prefer to copy what was done before, but it leaves parents inflexible and unprepared for modern realities.

You cannot raise your child exactly as your great-great-grandparents did. Some principles endure, but they must be applied differently today. Historically, strong social systems encouraged adults to conform to what was acceptable and in their best interest. In those times, parents could do a poor job, and yet children might still find structure and guidance in church, extended family, the military, or community institutions. Today, your children do not have that safety net. Even if you go to church, there is no guarantee that your church provides the breadth and depth of guidance young people need. Ask yourself: does your church offer a comprehensive course in how to find a spouse, get married, and raise children? Does it provide institutions, events, and opportunities to make that possible? Probably not. And if it does not, then it is not providing all the preparation your children require.

To be fair, such undertakings are enormous, and most pastors are already overworked and underappreciated. But the absence of these supports leaves modern parents with the full weight of responsibility.

Worse still, the world today is not even neutral toward children. Much of what surrounds them is actively designed to undermine parental authority and capture children into ideological or consumerist slavery. Once again, you, the parent, are the only shield between your child and that fate. The stakes have never been higher. Parenting today is not physically harder than in the past, but it is emotionally, spiritually, and mentally far more difficult. Most parents are not prepared for this battle. It requires new kinds of thinking and a much more mindful, principled application of parenting than our ancestors ever had to attempt. Very few of us can figure it out in real time, but the need has never been greater.

The Path Forward

Yet, despite all of this, it is still possible to parent your children successfully. To parent them as the parents of your grandchildren. To raise them up into adulthood as competent, healthy, and successful adults. Above I give some of the principles that you need to apply, but it is far beyond the scope of one single social media article to explain the complete strategy of parenting that implements the Meta-Father and Meta-Mother.

Right now, I offer people one-on-one coaching to help them implement the Meta-Father or Meta-Mother in their parenting styles. Your and your child's needs are unique. You have specific objectives for your family. You have unique requirements. You have a unique response to stress and stimulation. And the best way to figure out what works for you is to talk to someone who knows how to solve the kinds of problems that you're facing, someone who has not only solved them with their own children, but who has helped hundreds of other parents solve them with their children.

If you're struggling to do this, if you're not getting the results you want with your children, if it feels like it's way harder than it should be, then reach out to me. I will help you to create strategies, tactics, and plans so that you and your children triumph over every adversity you face and end up creating the lives you want for yourselves and your children.

Glossary

Agape Love – A form of unconditional love rooted in principle and self-sacrifice, oriented toward the child’s future self as an adult, not merely present affection.

Caregiver Responsiveness – The degree to which a parent or caregiver notices, interprets, and responds appropriately to a child’s emotional and physical needs.

Chronic Punishment – Discipline applied frequently or constantly, creating a persistent environment of stress or fear rather than occasional corrective measures.

Cortisol – The body’s primary stress hormone. Necessary in short bursts but harmful in chronically high amounts, particularly to brain areas involved in impulse control.

Executive Functions – Higher-order mental skills such as working memory, inhibitory control, and cognitive flexibility that enable self-regulation, planning, and decision-making.

Harsh Punishment – Severe or disproportionate discipline such as hitting, spanking, yelling, shaming, or humiliating a child.

Impulse Control – The ability to resist immediate urges in order to act in alignment with long-term goals or social expectations.

Meta-Father / Meta-Mother – A parent who takes full, radical responsibility for creating the child’s environment, boundaries, and guidance, raising children not just for today but as future parents of the next generation.

Probabilistic – Describes an effect that increases likelihood but does not guarantee an outcome; risk is raised but not certain.

Sovereign Mentality – Raising children to be self-governing and internally regulated, capable of independent judgment rather than blind obedience to authority.

Temperament – A child’s natural disposition or style of emotional response (e.g., easygoing, highly reactive) that influences how they experience stress and discipline.

Toxic Stress – Prolonged activation of the stress response system without adequate adult support, which can disrupt brain development and increase risk for long-term difficulties.

What is this Iroh? https://c.tenor.com/ewE4T6iOstsAAAAC/tenor.gif

2025-10-01T13:28:56Z

In reply to nevent1q…y207
_________________________

What is this Iroh?

Hehehe. Sorry. I've found not talking about a project makes ...

2025-09-28T14:13:46Z

In reply to nevent1q…4zzp
_________________________

Hehehe. Sorry. I've found not talking about a project makes me more likely to actually do it.

But, what if we could easily ask our friends for a favor from one of their friends?

Money is for strangers
Favors are for friends

Sure, you probably already do so without writing it down. A favor ...

2025-09-28T14:07:02Z

In reply to nevent1q…lgfk
_________________________

Sure, you probably already do so without writing it down. A favor from friend 1 is more valuable than a favor from friend 2 because friend 1 is more reliable or whatever other reason may be.

Those are called favors. I'm also working on that lol

2025-09-28T14:00:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…ppmy
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Those are called favors. I'm also working on that lol

Funny outfit choice (Squid Game Style).

2025-09-28T13:54:52Z

In reply to nevent1q…xvng
_________________________

Funny outfit choice (Squid Game Style).

And that's the story of property taxes

2025-09-28T12:48:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…2pla
_________________________

And that's the story of property taxes

Today, I'm making my stance on Knots vs core clear. There are ...

2025-09-26T21:15:52Z

Today, I'm making my stance on Knots vs core clear.

There are aspects of Knots I agree with. Namely, the philosophy of enabling options in the configuration file rather than making configurations more difficult for the sovereign node user. That's the part about Knots that people were rallying behind.

There was of course some other very debatable musings over whether me pool policy could prevent a block from getting mined or cause a block to be orphaned, however, these musings did originate from core maintainers, I don't mean Luke.

I don't care about such musings too much, but the sovereign node runner has the right to be wrong, no? I see this debate as being more about paternal Libertarianism, vs hands off libertarianism. The recent subversion away from that seems like a distraction from what matters.

There is a fundamental asymmetry in the developers ability to understand and make changes to the codebase that is meant to be a representation of the emergent social construct we're building together called Bitcoin. That asymmetry can without vigilance, lend itself to paternalism and maybe over time, aristocracy, and then oligarchy.

The conversation I was interested in seeing happen, was is our current process for "the reference implementation" really provide the resilient structure we need to stave off those undesirable tendencies of human nature into the future.

Any discussion about Luke's personality, or specifics about how Knots is run, is uninteresting, because at least to me, it kind of feels besides the point.

Gotta specify that carveout - Multi-party channels. Which you ...

2025-09-26T20:55:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…zq5c
_________________________

Gotta specify that carveout - Multi-party channels. Which you know and I know a nice happy path for that one.

I'm convinced you're a bot lol

2025-09-20T13:09:29Z

In reply to nevent1q…rqpx
_________________________

I'm convinced you're a bot lol

How do you fork over mempool policy tho?

2025-09-07T15:09:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…8d7w
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How do you fork over mempool policy tho?

Opal is your friend.

2025-09-05T22:44:37Z

In reply to nevent1q…9t2r
_________________________

Opal is your friend.

The market can stay irrational for longer than you can stay ...

2025-08-29T07:19:46Z

In reply to nevent1q…k0er
_________________________

The market can stay irrational for longer than you can stay solvent, but at every turn, why not warn a few people along the way? Afterall, the free market is all of us.

Paid anime generation API Paid character.ai ripoff Ads in the ...

2025-08-29T02:42:49Z

In reply to nevent1q…6ch2
_________________________

Paid anime generation API
Paid character.ai ripoff
Ads in the client
Paid relays.

...

Idk Patreon.

Just shooting in the dark here

#note1rhp…s2am

2025-08-26T20:22:01Z

quoting note1rhp…s2am
Updated bitcoin-garrys-mod with a branch from jamesob (nprofile…9mqg) and instagibbs with CTV and CSFS on retreat. Garrys mod has activation logic for testnet4 and is built on nprofile1qqsgdp0taan9xwxadyc79nxl8svanu895yr8eyv0ytnss8p9tru047qpz9mhxue69uhkummnw3ezuamfdejj70u2pvr (nprofile…2pvr) Sv2 branch for the latest mining hotness.

You can find it on the default branch of my repo.
https://GitHub.com/average-gary/bitcoin-garrys-mod

They were talking about Bitcoin on the Bitcoin podcast 🎙️

2025-08-25T13:47:42Z

In reply to nevent1q…ethq
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They were talking about Bitcoin on the Bitcoin podcast 🎙️

I don't care about the problems you brought up in this reply ...

2025-08-25T13:45:35Z

In reply to nevent1q…vmse
_________________________

I don't care about the problems you brought up in this reply to be honest.

Apple users? Fuck em

Leaking nsec? Just use Amber and stop pasting your nsec everywhere.

That all said and out there, you were probably looking for frostr

https://github.com/orgs/FROSTR-ORG/repositories

You gotta bump those numbers up champ. Those are rookie numbers

2025-08-25T03:19:42Z

In reply to nevent1q…5teh
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You gotta bump those numbers up champ. Those are rookie numbers

The XL pipeline from Alaska to Texas?

2025-08-11T01:34:17Z

In reply to nevent1q…c0a3
_________________________

The XL pipeline from Alaska to Texas?

The human condition is being a very social species in exactly the ...

2025-08-09T02:39:16Z

The human condition is being a very social species in exactly the most uncomplimentary way of each other and then figuring out what to do with/about each other because of it.

It wasn't a no because someone else had to step in. It's ...

2025-08-06T09:10:16Z

In reply to nevent1q…n5yj
_________________________

It wasn't a no because someone else had to step in. It's not just this place. This is a common problem we see in businesses that accept Bitcoin. You typically have to talk to the owner or an automated system to actually be able to pay in SATs because no ones staff knows how to accept it, because typically it's not on their point of sale and they have to get a separate tablet that they don't know about and weren't trained on.

I'm curious what system these guys updating to though that would be able to solve this problem

"Is it okay if I pay in Bitcoin?" "No" Why does ...

2025-08-05T12:52:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…5hv4
_________________________

"Is it okay if I pay in Bitcoin?"
"No"

Why does no one train their people on anything and make them figure everything out on their own all the time!

(Metaphorical) Death to time thieves

2025-08-05T12:41:42Z

In reply to nevent1q…lvef
_________________________

(Metaphorical) Death to time thieves

User feedback: Make implementing support for Amber event signing ...

2025-08-03T02:18:13Z

In reply to nevent1q…ahtp
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User feedback: Make implementing support for Amber event signing doable in a single ask, rather than 1,000. But you'd also need to allow *some* networking to allow it to send and receive events to an amber client.

Parsley tastes better than cilantro anyway

2025-07-11T00:18:57Z

In reply to nevent1q…mylq
_________________________

Parsley tastes better than cilantro anyway

Is it possible to build a nostr client that the non-freedom ...

2025-07-08T12:02:31Z

Is it possible to build a nostr client that the non-freedom inclined would prefer over a website?

lmao

2025-07-08T05:11:58Z

In reply to nevent1q…kxvj
_________________________

lmao

LibreWolf browser

2025-07-01T15:53:52Z

In reply to nevent1q…7vl0
_________________________

LibreWolf browser

This image makes me 😢 I'm going to share it to make more ...

2025-06-25T09:47:15Z

In reply to nevent1q…xd57
_________________________

This image makes me 😢
I'm going to share it to make more nerds sad 😂

I was just gonna run it on my own computer

2025-06-24T11:39:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…wef5
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I was just gonna run it on my own computer

Never used it. Just a lightning login user

2025-06-09T02:14:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…0w9m
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Never used it. Just a lightning login user

Welcome to the internet ...

2025-06-06T02:30:42Z

In reply to nevent1q…z204
_________________________

Welcome to the internet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxjaTis0y2o

Agree #nevent1q…rp0g

2025-06-03T09:21:43Z

Agree

quoting
nevent1q…rp0g
24h clock should be the online standard. The am/pm system is just silly

We just need a large enough userbase that's upset with the ...

2025-05-30T02:33:27Z

In reply to nevent1q…epne
_________________________

We just need a large enough userbase that's upset with the status quo and optimistic about what we're advocating for. Patience AND persistence is key

Super cool feature set. Only concerning thing is that it ...

2025-05-30T02:28:54Z

Super cool feature set.

Only concerning thing is that it doesn't appear to be lightning enabled, but its on mobile???

You guys aren't putting on-chain funds on your phones.... right???

quoting
nevent1q…0t7h
Made a demo of the coin control flow in Cove

Cypherpunks go to bitcoin++ not shitcoin magazine conferences

2025-05-30T02:21:39Z

In reply to nevent1q…v6wy
_________________________

Cypherpunks go to bitcoin++ not shitcoin magazine conferences

Because "Princess2001" for a password is safer than 12 ...

2025-05-28T02:06:13Z

In reply to nevent1q…qtsd
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Because "Princess2001" for a password is safer than 12 words not chosen by the user right?

The pro custody crowd needs to get realistic. Online login security is in complete shambles.

Not concerned at all. I'd be more worried a government ...

2025-05-21T14:50:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…8t49
_________________________

Not concerned at all. I'd be more worried a government mandate to only use custodial wallets or wallets with a multi-sig where a licensed broker was required to be a key holder

Also look up Liana wallet. Pretty decent vaults, but CTV would definitely improve on that

The standard

2025-05-20T17:35:39Z

In reply to nevent1q…jcz8
_________________________

The standard

But people might be able to do shot joinery with it (in ways that ...

2025-05-20T17:35:09Z

But people might be able to do shot joinery with it (in ways that are already possible and in active use) so massive UX improvements to lightning are not worth considering

quoting
nevent1q…r947
Even if all CTV did was make it so LSPs couldn’t force-close-rug you, it would still be a tremendous upgrade.